the first term...
Exploration, confusion, despair, vision, focus, circular were all words that could be used to sum up my first term on my MA journey.
Settling in always takes time, and the flow of days in and out of the studio start to show their faces.
My first written assignment. Frustrated and fearful of writing in a style I'm not used to brought considerable confusion and it made it hard to see a way forward. Lectures became uninspiring as the level of academic posturing left me baffled. There were tears, there were angry outbursts, there were days when I seriously considered my foolish choices.
This part of the course is an important part of my practice, of my growth, but even though part of me embraced the time to think, the questions I wanted to dig into, the side that doubted my ability, that voice in my head, the one that was still there after all these years was shouting at me to get the hell out of dodge. The part of me otherwise known as the chimp called Rosemary*. The force was strong with Rosemary at the end of 2018.
There were a few disasters outside Uni life which meant that I had to knuckle down and write quickly, so I wrote from within, trying to factor in a few quotes and references but I needed to spout my truths what I believe my work embraces. I am sure the feedback will be interesting.
Interestingly my practice flirted about without any direction maybe pushed by the constraints of a design brief I thought/decided I wanted to follow a path of completely pointless non functional work. Concentrating on the surface, those random marks, cracks, rough and smooth that makes my eyes glint, that soothes my soul.
My heart wasn't in it, the pieces were all in a muddle, I was a muddle. I felt I was beginning to spiral out of control. My mood was low, next stop the dark pit where nothing gets done, nothing is worth it, everything is pointless. I wallowed there for a while.
The one thing I can thank the first research assignment for is that It made me focus in on what it was I truly wished my work to represent. Functional work that could also be viewed as a piece of art. Art that you can eat your breakfast from, art that speaks to you through your hands as you hold a bowl and enjoy the substance within. Art that you can enjoy each and everyday.
It also had to be simple just one form, a form that could bend itself to so many different variations but still have a clear and obvious purpose. Of course it had to be a bowl. A vessel with so many uses, so many shapes but still have a function. A bowl that I have chosen to eat my food from for many years, Food not separated by the constraints of a flat surface but one that encourages a meld of flavour, a sum of the parts.... food indeed tastes so much better in a bowl. A bowl of comfort , a bowl of memories, a bowl of....
* The Chimp Paradox.... a must read for those of us who are ruled by our emotions and make the most ridiculous decisions based on them.